nir eksistensi

Aku benci diriku sendiri

Karena lagi-lagi membuatmu menangis

Aku benci diriku sendiri

Karena tak tahu bagaimana mengobati luka hatimu

Aku benci diriku sendiri

Sampai dimana aku benci pada eksistensiku sendiri

Aku tak layak ada

Jika saja kau tak bertemu denganku dulu, apakah kau akan bahagia?

Apakah kau akan sehat dan baik-baik saja?

Aku tahu aku terlarang memikirkan ini semua, tapi sungguh, jika memang kau bisa bahagia, sehat dan baik-baik saja, aku rela tidak menjadi ada.

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berisik

Sungguh berisik sekali kepala ini

Tak tahu lagi mana kawan mana lawan

Semua beradu menampilkan sisi gelap masing-masing

Saling mengalih mengambil alih

Semakin gelap sekelam malam

Tolong, cahayaku hampir padam

Kepada siapa ku bisa meminta cahaya pertolongan

Tolong, aku masih ingin hidup dan melihat mereka tumbuh dewasa

Aku ingin mereka bisa mengingatku kelak ketika aku tak lagi ada

Bukan seperti sekarang, ketika aku ditelan kegelapan

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hidup ini indah

Hidup ini indah

Aku harus hidup

Jangan menyerah

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ungratefull

Sorry brother..

I couldn't hug you for your loss

I couldn't be there for you

Even barely be here my self too

I lost to this world my friend..

Almost enough to hold my breath

Even to uphold the light and barely embrace deep darkness down there

Sometime, if our path cross again, please forgive me for my ignorance and ungratefull me to have ever met you in my life..

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Yours

Please understand me.

Believe me, that you are my priority.

I'm happy if you are happy.

Don't think that you are a burden for me.

That makes me sad.

So please, just be who you are.

Ask me whatever you want to ask.

I am yours.

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sepi

suwung

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why

Please don't cry

What can I do to ease your heart?

Please don't cry..

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why is it

Is it so wrong to be me?

Why do my words always become a sin?

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Two Lifes

Lelah sangat

Mimpi yang tak pernah menyenangkan

Lebih baik tanpa mimpi

Jika saja aku bisa memilih atau mengendalikan

No one will understand this

The life I had is never been easy

I live here when I wake up, and awaken there when I sleep

Never ever really sleeping

But how can I told you, the life I had?

How can you understand?

If you can't relate that this kind of life is exist in our world

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once

no one told me that the feeling is so miserable..

no one told me that the burden somehow unbearable..

till i just want to give up and raise up the flag..

please.. once.. only this once i want to give up..

i can't bear it anymore..

let me give up

just once

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Hegar

Nak, hari ini ibumu masuk ke ruang operasi untuk melahirkanmu. Ini kali kedua bapak mengantar ibumu. Rasanya jauh lebih menyesakkan dibandingkan dulu saat kelahiran kakakmu. 

Semoga kalian berdua selamat dan sehat Nak. Sayangi ibumu kelak ya Nak. Sebagaimana pengorbanannya saat ini demi melahirkanmu ke dunia. 😭

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muspra

you don't need to be understood
so keep it for your self
don't let it out
just stay there
by your self

becaue they won't ever understand you anyway

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tulpa

if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
cause your presence still lingers here
and it wont leave me alone

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A Lot

I miss you like.. A LOT!!!!!

#homesick

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Patience

I'm sorry for my weary life. Please be patience for a little while.

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Tetaplah Kau

Tetaplah berjalan menemaniku,
saat aku tidak lagi menjadi diriku.

Tetaplah berjalan bersamaku,
karena aku membutuhkanmu untuk mengingatkanku tentang siapa aku.

Tetaplah disini denganku,
karena engkaulah sesungguhnya realitas duniaku.

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Why is It so Dark?

Why is it so dark?
Could you please turn on the light?

No, you are the one who cut the power line
And there will be no more light for you

Then, i'll just have to open the door, right?
Waiting for the sunrise
Is it?

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I Just

I just want you to know...

But how can you know?

I don't know...

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Hurtfull

It's sad.. really really sad..
To know that you are the one,
The only one..
That caused your children hurt..

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Malu

Rasanya memalukan
Dan bahkan aku rasa jadi malu sendiri kalau nanti bertemu denganmu

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